sea level is boring
From Denali to the Philippines, I’ve been to my personal highest and lowest points on earth this summer.
Sorry sea-level, you suck. I either want to be below the ocean or high above. Either holding my breath or sucking in the thin, crisp mountain air. Below sea-level the world is a blue, perfect, endless abyss. But now with freediving complete, it’s time to jump above sea-level and gasp for air in a different way. Let’s go frolic in the alpine.
some alpine hype - throwback to sheep-horn beers on the Grand. Photographer: Dani Perry
Late July and August in Jackson Hole. Peak conditions for alpine climbing. I’ve been looking forward to this for 11 months.
Jackson Hole is rad because there’s a lifetime’s worth of goals/adventures. Each season ends and I already have a list of what I want to try the next year.
Last September I flew to Alaska for hunting season. I had just finished one of my best alpine seasons with multiple picnics, traverses and climbs in both the Teton and Wind River ranges. I was stoked to chase moose around but sad to say goodbye to alpine climbing and aquateering.
It didn’t take but the plane ride to Fairbanks for me to start my 2022 summer goal list. The list morphed and grew as fall progressed and new torturous..*cough cough*…excuse me… pleasurable alpine adventures formed. Then it became a waiting game.
July and August are now here. Let the games begin.
North face of the Grand. My first Grand Traverse. 2020
We first need to describe Picnics. David Gonzales, the creator, reminds us that picnics are not the “awkward consumption of lunch meat on the ground”. In his mind picnics are a “human-powered, self-reliant, alpine aquateering adventure”. That sounds more fun right? In short - bike a bit, swim some big lake(s), climb a mountain or two, then generally reverse all of that.
I’ve always described them as “underground triathlons”. You aren’t racing anyone but yourself. Half the time I barely tell many people I’m doing them.
Picnics embody everything beautiful about Jackson Hole. An adult playground where we push ourselves outside and don’t generally care about competition. If anything it’s friendly competition at most. Picnics expose an athlete to every level of beauty the mountains display in summer - from the base to the summit to the alpine lakes in between. To fully understand David’s concept and the evolution of picnic-ing, watch this presentation of his.
As you can see, David created several variations spinning off the OG Grand Teton one. I’ve been hooked on these aquateering adventures since my first summer in Jackson. I’ve completed the Grand Teton picnic eight times as well as the Moranic twice.
I am in no place to complain about my job. I’ve had a 4-day work week for the last six years. It’s amazing and I think the whole world should run that way. But I get too excited by everything I want to do each summer that even three days off each week can feel short.
Big mountain efforts require multiple days in the event itself but also planning and recovery. I squeezed my previous picnics between work requirements. I forfeited proper sleep and recovery. Also suffer-fests over three days were almost impossible. I dreamt of an alpine season free from work.
Six years of touring and saving pennies later, my dream is about to come true.
I’ve broken this next month into primary and secondary personal goals.
Plus a list of whole-hearted mountain debauchery with the homies of course! The friend adventures are where it’s at and I always cherish them the most. Shared momentary highs are the pinnacle experiences on earth. They are the moments I’ll often tear up while looking at photos of and reminiscing on.
So here’s the list for 2022. Let’s see how many are possible.
For the picnics, expect a much more detailed explanation of the route and what’s involved in a later post. Right now I’m just trying to hype myself up. And additionally pee myself over anticipation and fear by writing them down.
SHARED HIGHS
East Face Pingora (who’s in? I need a multi-pitcher. Chris???)
Teewinot with Jules and Kelly
Moran’s CMC with John
Mountain bike resort and pass with Andrew and Pat
Around the Rock bike ride with Pat
Grand Picnic (Dani), Disappointment’s Open Book and Irene’s Arete (Erin) , lake scuba dive (Space), and hopefully so much more with all the squad - let’s GOOOOOOO!
PRIMARY
Teton Tri Traverse : Roughly 230 miles biking, 17 miles swimming, 44 miles hiking and 18 miles scrambling/climbing. It’s a Teton picnic I made up thanks to David’s inspiration. I’m not sure I can finish it. But let’s find out. Here’s a rough idea of the route.
Moronic : One of David’s diabolical picnics. A spin off of the Moranic but bigger. Roughly 60 miles biking, 12 miles swimming, and a climb of Moran’s NE ridge.
Winds Picnic : One of David’s greatest creations. A full immersion in the Wind Rivers with 10 lake swims (10 miles), 65 miles biking, and a summit of Gannet peak.
SECONDARY
Free solo Full Exum (Grand Teton) - Fanny packs only. Copeland you still in??
Cirque Traverse TH to TH - Last year Tanner and I did the full Cirque Traverse. But we spent the day before and after hiking in and out. I want to see if I can hike the 20 miles plus climb the 11 peaks in 24 hours. Light and fast alpine French style baby!!
Before I can start any of this I need to hug all my friends back home and smash some beers with them. I miss all of you guys so much.
I’ve been called a “puppy that can walk itself” for my energetic nature. Expect full “puppy that hasn’t seen its owners in a month” vibes when I get back.
Before that I have 50 hours of air travel and layovers. So now’s the perfect time to wrap up the Philippines.
I couldn’t be more jazzed with how the final weeks of training went. I knocked out all my underwater goals under Guy Scott-Robertson’s training. If you’re interested in any coaching yourself, let me know and I’ll put you in touch. He’s the man.
In the pool I reached 75m DNF and 115m DYN. On the line I managed to break 40 meters in both FIM and CWT. And my best/hardest dive of the trip, the one I’m most proud of, was 33 meters CNF on my last day. 108 feet deep with no fins and no mask felt absolutely magical.
Other than training we celebrated our last week with night dives, reef dives and a dive trip to Pemilican. We also rode 100 miles on motorbikes around Bohol embracing our inner-tourist in every way.
Ian (top) 4 years ago in Thailand. Me (bottom) missing his style on this trip
Two photos above thanks to Pema! Follow her @pema.travels and her boyfriend Jackson @jackson.groves
Two badass people traveling the world from Himalayan peaks to tropical reefs
Here’s Pema showing me hows it’s done
I’m going to miss this view (left). I’ll miss a lot from the Philippines. Mostly the people - Guy, Jules, Pema, Jackson, Amelia, Sebastian, John, Oliver, Bryan, Mugi, the boat guys - JR, Archie, Joshua. I’ll miss the chill cats, Nu Nu and Joshua, that hung out with me while drinking coffee. I’ll miss blowing bubble rings. I’ll miss being on island time.
I’ll miss the feeling of “tanning” for once. Scoff at my white-ass all you want! It may not look like anything to you but I got color! You say red, I say tan!
Screw it, who am I kidding. This Irish white-boy hopped on the skin cancer express this month. I probably just look darker because of the new freckles I got. What I get in color over a month in the tropics friends get on an overcast day in Jackson.
I’ll miss sleeping in. “WAIT Neil WTF dude you don’t work. You can sleep in every day!” Ahh not the case. Climbing and hunting season are almost upon us. These are two periods where the hours of 1am-4am really exist. I expect sporadic napping and opportunistic trailside knock-outs. I expect investing a small fortune on AAA batteries for my headlamp. And I’ve already thrown out the ideas of a normal sleep “schedule” and sleeping in.
As I jitter in nervous excitement for this next month, I question my fitness. Normally I have a firm grasp on how my body feels and will perform each week. But a month away from the mountains is rare for me. A month of not tromping around thin air and endless granite. Sure I was active in the Philippines but not in the same way.
I’ve been pondering the positives and negatives of my recent training and how all the variables will function together in the mountains. The good stuff - my threshold for low O2 and high CO2 levels in my body is rockstar. Daily breath work and lung stretching has my lungs feeling great. Speaking of stretching, I’ve never stretched so much in my life. My body feels loose and flexible and I’m pumped to keep that up. My body just feels healthy - a month with little alcohol and lots of sleep. Lastly, my mental fitness is all-time. Free diving requires full mind control under stress. That will translate very well to high pressure climbing and skiing.
My fears? The last month was the least active I’ve been in awhile. And the activity was largely done underwater where the stress on bones is minimal. Muscle atrophy maybe? I tried to do regular prison workouts (push-ups, pull-ups, etc.) to stay strong. But I’m scared how my knees and feet will fare with excessive granite pounding. I fear how I’ll do at altitude again. Also I’ve done no cardio for a month. I don’t really train or think about how much of a certain exercise I do. But just playing around I naturally get cardio and strength work. This month was a change though for sure.
the final of 4 sections on the Teton Tri Traverse
It will be fascinating to see how mountain-fit I feel. Call me stupid but I think the best way to test it will be the Winds Picnic first week I get back! F*ck it, we’ll do it live!
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Monthly wildlife stuff
Two cool sightings from the last week. First we saw two tarsiers in Bohol. One of the smallest primates in the world and endangered in the Philippines. There are places where they are “captive” for ecotourism somewhat similar to the whale shark experience (read previous post). Luckily tarsiers also have a strong scientific following as well promoting their ethical conservation. And fortunately we did our research beforehand this time.
Think of the size of Grand Teton or Yellowstone National Parks. They need to be that big to protect the habitat and space requirements for bears, elk, wolves, etc. Now picture how big, or small, a national park would need to be for a palm-sized primate?
Bohol has protected areas like a national park where tarsiers are safe. Similar to US parks, the animals are not fenced in. Tarsiers can jump among the trees in and out. Guides and workers hike each morning to hopefully find them settled into their daytime resting sites (I’m sure you’ve already noted they are nocturnal by those huge eyes). Just like wildlife guides find animals in US parks and radio each other. We arrived midday to find two!
It was very refreshing and inspiring to see scientists are performing quality research and conservation on the local wildlife.
Next sighting. Look at the two photos above. As I’ve written about, a highlight of this trip was seeing so many banded sea kraits. In total we found 9. The photo on the right is one of these highly venomous sea snakes. Not 5 minutes after seeing him, I swam over the critter on the left.
At first I was sure I found another krait. But things looked a bit off. There was a dorsal fin-like protrusion on its back and the head was different. Also it could swim perfectly backwards! At that moment I knew it was an eel. More specifically a ringed snake eel.
Look at that mimicry!! Evolution is dope. Similar to a kingsnake mimicking a coral snake. The eel not only looks like a venomous animal to other critters. It’s also tricking kraits themselves. Eels make up a large part of the kraits’ diet. All together, the mimicry allows this guy to act and live much more freely than its moray-eel cousins. All the morays we saw were tucked into rocks and crevasses. If not they were quick to bolt for cover once we approached. But this snake eel chilled out and about with me for 20 minutes. He can swim freely like a snake thanks to a badass disguise. Nature is neat.